the other day i was complaining to christine about how i was feeling that i'm getting too old. but she says it's okay as long as we eat lots of cookies and don't take everything too seriously. i keep up with the best of them when it comes to my daily cookie intake, but i have always taken everything too seriously. i need to tape xena episodes. i need to buy a skateboard. i need.... to go to VEGAS!!

and so i shall. krista's having her 30th in november and what better place to celebrate than in the land of decadance? a posse shall form and we shall all ride on airplanes and get silly and smoke lots of cigarettes and play slots.

i'll be going to sonoma around then to see connor and jeshua and that whole bunch, as well. i'll need some vegas in my system for this. i'm very much looking forward to seeing the boys and shyla. shy's getting me very excited about seeing her house and visiting rosa and the river area again. i think if there's one other place id'd rather be than here, it's the russian river.

it's all a long way off. everything's a long way off. i eat more cookies and still i get depressed and confused and i leave the emotional oven on all night.

i'm investing too much energy in work. i'm not drinking enough wine. i'm not spending enough time with india or art or writing in this here journal. i'm hardly in touch with anything but code on a screen. if this then that else that. if this then that else that. someone called me a guru today at the office and i swear i wanted to bash his stupid head in.

i'm gonna go outside now and sniff gasoline.

when i was young the skies went on forever. and they were beautiful... the most beautiful skies. little fluffy clouds.