you feel that same missing-something-ness that you felt after the operation. it's like the pain that you've been harboring within your body has been surgically removed. anesthesia. incisions. drainage. stitches. you feel solemn about this: your pain has become your friend. the plant that you never forget to water. the cold wall that you press your back against as you sleep. the steam on the mirror that hides your wet face. your sad face. your mourning face.
but you feel lighter, today.
eating flower petals. turning clouds into animals. hovering kisses made by lips pressed against glass. all my little dreams. cold, sharp scissors. teeth buried in shoulders. catching tears. pillows for lovers.