someone thought of tetris.
someone mapped the human genome.
someone invented milkshakes.
i can't see the "what next" in my life. does it matter? does it matter that i haven't met my own expectations? i don't even know if these are my own expectations. maybe someone ejected them into my head while i was sleeping. some kind of x-files conspiricy thing with anonymous surgeons in their blue outfits and a creepy old man smoking in the corner.
...
i just chatted with shyla again. she really cheered me up, though it was my intention to cheer her up. there were times in our past that i was really angry with her... i think she's the only person in my life i've ever thrown a tantrum at. over what i can't even remember. now we get along great and she's simply amazing. she's been through hell and back a few times. it's been years but it's also been lifetimes, too - for both of us. it sounds like -- despite all the things she's been doing -- she's half-mother to c and j. krazy woman.
she wants me to come down. i'm long overdue. i think she understands but she isn't going to buy it.
dangling; peit�. new shoes. considering pills. a restless nap i shouldn't have taken. those moments between giving and recieving. secrets held in a fist in a pocket. watching tomatoes grow. fumbling through the drawer for protection. milkcartons for birdfeeders.