i've been to the dentist's three times since my last confession. my mouth feels raw and mangled. i've got all this vicodin. i've eaten a gallon of vanilla ice cream and three bottles of magic shell in the last week alone. magic shell is still fun after all these years. made with real milk chocolate, it magically hardens in seconds. like me.

oooo lookee, it's a full moon.

i'm not getting along with m right now. she doesn't make any sense to me and i can't seem to connect with her in any substantial way. all the chemistry in the world won't help us if i can't carry on a conversation with her without walking away feeling completely annoyed. especially last night and all day today i've been looking back nostalgically at my relationship-free days. couples suck. i can feel myself distancing myself from this relationship, trying to rise above it like a ghost from a corpse.

and i wonder now, again, am i completely dead to bliss? am i a heartless fuckup or is this just another unfortunate case of a bad match? probably both. i'd been looking for my partner in crime but i feel like all i've got is this crime.