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all those men trapped in a submarine. i want so bad for them to be okay. i'm imagining some scene from the abyss -- that everything will be fine... i'm. i'm speechless.
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my baby's on an airplane. according to her itinerary, she's been in the air for 20 minutes. i'll see her in 6 hours. i'm done cleaning. i'm done sweeping and folding laundry and adjusting the angles of picture frames. it's just me and this waiting. she's flying and i'm motionless and daydreaming. trying really hard to breathe calmly. cabin pressure. i'm listening to big star's holocaust. over and over.
i'm watching the cursor/caret blink. i'm pushing it forward. i'm pulling on my eyelashes. my hands are warm. i'm giddy and i am panic. i am secrets and treasures lying at my feet. the hull is caving. i want to be i want to be. i am a mess under duress and i am blessed and. over and over. fathom. i look in my eyes. they're glowing, tonight.
your eyes are almost dead. can't get out of bed. and you can't sleep. you're sitting down to dress. and you're a mess. you look in the mirror. you look in your eyes. say you realize, everybody goes -- even those that fall behind. everybody goes as far as they can. they don't just care. they stood on the stairs. laughing at your aires. your mother's dead. she said don't be afraid. your mother's dead. you're on your own. she's in her bed. everybody goes -- even those that fall behind. everybody goes as far as they can. they don't just care. you're a wasted face. you're a sad eyeline. you're a holocaust.
alex chilton
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